In the wake of the whipping up of nasty ethnic prejudices in Lagos State during the gubernatorial elections, we need to pass a Nigerian Anti Tribal Bill 2023 with the following provisions 

Ayo Akinfe 

[1] Make your state of birth your state of origin

[2] Make it compulsory to grant indigent status to anyone who has lived in a state for up to five years

[3] Categorise the use of the word tribe as hate speech. Only animals live in tribes. Europeans never refer to themselves as coming from tribes. Using the word tribe should attract a 12 month jail sentence

[4] Society groups and non-governmental organisations should form a National Anti-Tribal Movement. Poverty has no ethnic group, bad roads kill all of us and when Nepa takes light, no one is spared. The bony hand of hunger is blind to ethnic origin

[5] Carry out a nationwide sensitisation campaign to educate our people on the fact that there was no such thing as tribe in pre-colonial Africa. It was colonial conquest that created the phenomenon

[6] Promote the speaking of Nigeria's three main languages as a means of cutting out the numerous languages in the country. Remember the story of the Tower of Babel? Numerous languages were designed to prevent the workmen achieving their goal and it succeeded in frustrating their project. Basically, the less languages the better 

[7] Have the ultimate goal of making Pidgin and Queens English the two languages spoken in Nigeria. How many Brits still speak Celtic or Welsh today? How many native Americans speak Luo, Cheyenne or Lakota?

[8] Grant a sum of N500,000 to all newly wed couples who marry across the ethnic divide to encourage inter-marriages

[9] Make it compulsory for every state governor to appoint at least one non-indigene into his cabinet. Also encourage the wearing of other ethnic groups clothing at least once a month 

[10] Carry out an annual review and give states that come tops with regards to promoting equality preference when it comes to the locating of federal projects